Shift

I woke up this morning crying. There has been something bothering me for the past few days (also... hormones) and I have been in a complete funk. Unable to shake the melancholy and unable to convince myself to focus on anything other than the issue at hand. 

Then I had a moment of clarity. "What happened to how I felt January 1st. Just a few days ago I decided if I could be this excited about one day I could be this excited every day. What am I doing?"

The shift happened. I decided I was still sad, still hormonal, but I had laundry to do and rooms I wanted to clean and things I needed to do. I could still be sad and feel all my feelings and if that meant crumpling on the floor for a minute to cry then so be it but I had to get back up and keep moving. 

So I did. I put music on that makes me happy and I started to get things done. I'm not sure I could have done this yesterday when my tears flowed too easily and breathing felt heavy . . . but I did it today. I made a decision to make myself move and that's what is important. Not that I did something but that I made a conscious decision to change my mindset and followed through with it. 

Bad days happen. Some are worse than others. Allow yourself the bad day but don't get stuck there. It can be too easy to fall into the trap once your are there. You can make a decision to keep moving, even if the cloud hasn't lifted.